There are three main categories of women. In which category are you?
As far as a man is concerned, in relation to romantic interest, there are three different categories of women. When a man meets a woman for the first time, he will make an assessment of her during that first impression, and he will place her into one of these three categories. You may think of this concept as a room with three doors and there is a prize behind one of them. But the romantic process is the reverse. He knows which door leads to the prize. He is merely in the process of determining if that prize is you.
The First Vetting Period
The first impression is the first vetting period and it takes only moments. During this time, she will be evaluated on her appearance and behavior. Much of this evaluation process is not something of which he is aware. The good news is that the outcome of this process is entirely within her control.
He is paying attention to her attractiveness first. Is her body attractive? Does he think she has a beautiful face? Does it appear that she takes care of herself? Is her voice attractive?
Then he looks for hints of character and approachability. Is she smiling and does she seem friendly? Does she have a good attitude or is she cynical? Is she demure or outgoing? Is it likely that she is safe to approach?
At that point, though she may seem pretty and approachable, he wonders about her morals. He pays attention to the amount of skin she is showing and the way she carries herself. He notices if she is boisterous and uses foul language. Within minutes, he will determine the appraisal she has given herself. Before long, he will either confirm or dispute it. And he may wonder if she will go home with him in the very near future.
Short-Term Association
If she decides to go home with him that night or soon after, she will be placed into the first category: A Short-Term Association. This is a no-strings-attached, free “love,” or sexual interaction. It is based purely on physical attraction, and can involve intense game playing and ultimate disappearance, or “ghosting.” The immediate sexual gratification nips all further interest in the bud before it has a chance to bloom. It may last one night, or several nights, or even a few weeks, but it negates any emotional furtherance and all negotiating potential. This is the most dangerous and degrading position in which a woman can place herself – a position even lower than that of a prostitute. At least a prostitute receives money for her services! Sleeping with a man on the first date or soon after automatically and permanently places her into this category.
Getting the Milk For Free
It is rare for a man to lose interest in a woman because she refuses to sleep with him. Most men do not wish to pursue something meaningful with a woman who has had a long line of meaningless sexual encounters. Luckily for some, the truth is that her past is none of his business. In nearly all cases, her abstinence only serves to intensify his interest. Men prefer to have goals and to pursue them through logical means. The process through which a man proves himself to a lady makes the pursuit that much sweeter.
Two Reasons For His Departure
There are two reasons that a man is likely to leave in this early stage, however. The first reason is because a sexual encounter is all he desired. A man who solely has sex as a goal will go away regardless of achieving this goal. If a woman entertains his desires, her time with him is ticking. There is little that can reform this type of man. Because he knows that a mere sexual encounter is one that requires the least amount of effort, he will favor women who appear to welcome men who do not make any efforts. These are women who seem to try too hard, who place lower values on themselves, show a lot of skin and chase men or overly accommodate them. No woman of value ever chases anyone to prove her worth.
The second reason that this type of man is likely to leave is a woman’s reputation. If he has heard that she has had promiscuous relations with someone he knows, he will expect it from her. If she does not deliver the goods, he will resent it and leave. This should not encourage her to accommodate him, however. Her reputation will not keep him around, either. He has one thing on his mind and he will take or leave her – usually both.
Passing To Round 2
If she declines his invitation to go home with him in one night or after a few dates, she has proven to him that she has standards, morals, and self-respect. This is highly attractive. He decides that she may be something special and he likely will decide to investigate further. This moves her beyond the first of the categories of women.
This is a beautiful and endearing period when a man likes to think he is in control of himself but quickly learns otherwise. He finds himself fantasizing about her, intoxicated by her beauty and warm restraint. He wants to know her, to experience life with her, to feel the ecstasy he knows exists. But will she grant it? The feelings are so intense that he has to have her. Flooded with passion, distracted with fantasies and clouded thinking, and tripping over his words, he is certain he is falling in love with her. Now he must convince her! What will it take?
The Second Vetting Period
As the man and woman become more acquainted with each other, more assessments will be made. For the following weeks and months, there will be a second vetting period that analyzes a woman’s behavior, boundaries, and tolerance. During this period, a woman will be judged on her values, vulnerabilities, gullibility, accessibility, and availability. Her past plays a part in this assessment as well. How much of her past and her schedule are open books? What is she willing to tolerate from him? What is the least amount of investment that he can make in order to reap the most rewards? Men are businessmen and they can recognize a good deal!
This vetting period is a quiet process and she will have no idea how she is graded in his mind, when the test is over, and whether she passed or failed. This is the case until she demands to know the direction of the relationship, which may be years later. What a woman does and does not do will affect the direction and the duration of the relationship. If the woman is following the De La Mora Romantic Model, however, this process is expedited. He will attempt to define and develop the relationship in record time and she will understand the important power of negotiation.
Long-Term Relationship
This leads us to the second place in the categories of women: A Long-Term Relationship. This is a comfortable holding pattern for most men, which usually is safe from commitment and responsibility for a limited duration. Its success is contingent on the ability to obtain marital perks without legal entanglements or public accountability. It is the triumph of procrastination and promises over time decay and female-directed discussions. This is as far as many men want to go, and many have learned to expect “the talk” or “the ultimatum” at milestone markers: one month, six months, one year, two years, holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Left entirely to him, by the end of two years, if marriage happens, more often it is obligatory rather than passionately instinctive on his behalf.
Full Disclosure
Men today want to look at all angles of a woman before putting all of their bets on her. They require knowing everything about her that she is willing to divulge: Her past, her family, her body, her thoughts, her goals, her shortcomings, her vulnerabilities, her deal breakers, everything. This occurs for a few years until he decides that all of her imperfections and all of their relationship difficulties are liabilities that would only complicate matters by taking them further.
What he does not realize is that personal imperfections and difficulties resulting from two different individuals coming together are par for the marriage course. He never finds this idyllic relationship without problems or efforts, so the couple carries on or eventually dissolves, throwing each other on their piles of previous relationships. The interesting part about this is that men generally dislike hearing that women have pasts, but they are more than willing to participate in them, continuing this lack of commitment in perpetuity!
A Letdown of Love
Both people trust his initial interest, until his love fog fades and he can see the relationship in a logical light. Being romantically satisfied, he doesn’t need to take it further, and is comfortable until something better presents itself.
She is not so happy, however, having risked everything she had in order to fulfill her side of the promise without getting out of it what she had planned to receive. Growing increasingly desperate, frustrated, and resentful, she thinks of ways to manipulate him into getting what she desires. Failing that, and turning herself inside out, she wonders what she could have done differently, and if she is even lovable. She believed in him and she believed in what they had, only to realize dreams that did not materialize. Then she swears off all men forever! The wounds sustained from long-term relationships can haunt a woman for years.
The Finalist of Category 3!
The woman in our final category of women is a champion of both self-respect and self-restraint. The third in the categories of women is: A Serious Prospect. This is a woman who knows what she wants, knows her value, demonstrates it with confidence but not arrogance, knows what he wants, and will not budge without legitimate negotiation. She knows that he figuratively pays first, not later, regardless of his flowery intentions or promises.
His attraction, desire, and love chemicals reinforce her conditions every step of the way, and make her irresistible to him. She does not play games or present any kind of ultimatum. Her behavior and restraint entirely negate the necessity or the urge for these things. Her focus is on her goal of love and marriage and everything she does is with dignity. This creates an environment of mutual respect, admiration and affinity from which love, friendship, devotion, and all other elements of marriage have the potential to grow.
The De La Mora Romantic Model is a powerful and healthy way to date, relate, and mate. It is an extensive model that completely revitalizes romantic relations. I have written about it in the Digital Dignity series, including the version for men. Look for much more about it in my upcoming books!
The Feminist Façade of Empowerment
What is empowering about giving a woman ZERO control over the direction of a relationship? Is it empowering for women to sexually debase themselves, to waste their reproductive years chasing careers and empty promises of relations that simulate marriage? Why is it empowering for women to defrock themselves of their natures and responsibilities, only to become imitation males – the creatures they secretly covet? We have been duped.
Sometimes a woman will pretend that she feels nothing and is empowered by meaningless intimacies with men. If there really are women who are devoid of emotional depth and immune to the purpose of intimacy, then it shows the advancement of feminism in its quest to return civilization to barbarism. Due to the fact that these women usually “catch feelings” at some point, however, it seems equally likely that these women have merely aspired to become master manipulators. Many women attract men with their bodies, intending to hook them emotionally, not realizing that the sexes are composed differently. This misconception means that these women become the bait on their own hooks.
To modify Myrtle Reed’s insightful concept, each failed relationship is a different door to the same circus. This is brilliant. Everything about it is a mess. Today’s woman has no negotiating power; the only thing she has is the temporary influence of love chemicals on the brain. The modern tendency of relationships is about catering to a man’s desires until he has made up his mind not to close the deal – and by then, he’s satiated and she’s done!
She’s Always Had Control
Hardly ever does a woman realize that she had control over every bit of it, from the very beginning. Within her grasp is the ability to make nearly any man adore her. She chooses the door behind which she stands. She is the reason for her particular placement in the categories of women. It starts and ends with her.
The unfortunate part of it is that her mistakes usually are her only teacher – a guide without mercy. Feminism set her adrift on the highest seas from birth, completely alone on the raft of “empowerment,” making her believe that the weights it provided her were flotational devices. Women are drowning in their own dysfunction and despair. Isn’t it time to turn this around?
Learn more about Feminism and Socialism from last week’s post.
Browse other posts about dating and relationships here.
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